Day 61

Jessica, reaching muscle failure is easy. In my first set I do exactly how many of whatever Patrick demands. The max reps if he gives a range. The second set I do the same. The third usually is a fight to get to the minimum reps. The fourth and/or fifth involve a lot of shaking, grunting and getting as many reps in before I drop the band or fall on my face. With floorjumps it means I make a jumping motion, but the distance I leave the ground is roughly the thickness of two human hairs.

I know when I reach muscle failure when I can't drink my post work-out milk because the mug is too heavy to bring up to my mouth. From your day 60 post you're already reaching what I call muscle failure, which makes me wonder if I'm not really reaching muscle failure. Am I failing at failing?

Day 60, [Tuesday] Motivational Movie

Two-thirds in and I'm bringing back the big motivation:

When I forget why I'm downstairs jumping rope in the night, this video always helps.

Unlike Jess I can reach muscle failure in my legs and holy crap, two days after Monday's workout I am still sore. Which is good, tearing fibers and rebuilding them stronger. The timed jumps are getting better, but I'm with Amy, I just straight jump, the arm cross just ends up with me twaping myself in the face. But the timed jumps are getting better. I was really speeding through sets of 150 or 200 before. It's just about pacing myself now.

Day 55

Rough Draft done and sent, final word count 11,470, 45 pages in word. Whew. Now I sit here for a couple of weeks and be nervous. But at least the ball is rolling.

Thanks for all the comments about the pull-ups. It was good to hear. A lot of times I look at the sheet and read the emails and think everyone else is powering through every set and every rep just like the picture. Not very realistic I guess. It is still frustrating because I could do more last week, but I also went on a egg hiatus with no other protein to substitute, so that's what I get.

Anyone else hate timed jumps? As long as we're being honest? My final couple of sets are like "jump...pant...pant...pant....jump...pant pant pant..." I know the goal is to improve, but it is quite a transition from knocking down 150 sets to having to just keep going until my watch beeps.

Day 54

7,622 words and I am writing this on a quick bathroom break. Dear old and new PCPers alike, do not decided that 200g of asparagus is part of a good breakfast. It is too much. That's the best advice I know right now. Two hours later and I'm still stuffed. Good to be eating back on plan though, I need to build the muscles up. Yesterday I could only do a handful of regular pull-ups and had to go back to the inclines. Lame.

Day 53 - Natural Born Procrastinator

I procrastinate, that's what I do. I put off my workouts, eating, work and school.

I am, right this instant on a two hour break from working on my final project for a master's degree I started in 2002. My advisor finally gave me a "have something to me by X" date and I had to take two days off to get it to him. So I'm home, in my PJs getting it done.

The worst part is I just wrote 3024 words in two hours. A lot of it was based off of earlier papers and research, but still. I've sat on this thing for 5 years (when I was coursework complete) and I got what W|A tells me is 13 pages done in two hours. Now is no time to gloat, that's just the introduction and the theory application will be a pain, but I'm moving.

So, time to take this little break, let the dog use the bathroom, check the mail, knock back some tuna and carbs and then get back to work. Maybe I'll sneak in some extra abs work while I'm at it. One thing I will not be doing today? Limiting my coffee. Sorry Patrick, I know it is toxic and destroying me but when I hit that 4pm slump I will enjoy a tall cup. At least it isn't a big cup of bacon fat, right?

The worst worst worst feeling about procrastination is how good it feels when you finally stop sitting on the couch and turn the doing dial up a notch.

I could go on and on about discount rates and brain chemistry and why that feeling is so easy to forget, but I'm on a short break here and don't want to lose that momentium. So, I've been reading everyone's blogs just not commenting, keep it up, you're all rockstars. Anshuman, I know that frustration - I'm still losing weight - but don't let it get to you, just let it fuel you workout. Alright, got to go

Day 51 - Beautiful Day

I love the fall. It's true. I don't have much use for the sweltering heat of summer and when it comes to an end it just brings me such joy. This week we transitioned from shorts weather to jean weather and I could not be happier. A nice crisp breeze is blowing and the sky seems clearer from the cold.

The workout have been really kicking my butt this week, I cannot do 4 full sets of dips and end up going back to propping my legs up for the last set every time. I'm getting there and it is nice to feel that comforting soreness the next day.

I had my indulgence last week before we even had permission. After being up past midnight reading about structural violence and other cheerful topics, I left the house in a rush without having breakfast. As my stomach fed on itself I decided I had to eat something, so, like an idiot I pulled into Wendy's. Their options were limited, as you can imagine. You know, McDonalds gets a lot of crap for being unhealthy, but at least they make an effort. Wendy's and Burger King have embrased the fact they sell you crap that will kill you (esp. BK) and they're not targeted nearly as much. Almost makes you feel bad for Ronald McDonald. Almost. Anyway, I got a fried chicken biscut thing.

There is a book I like, Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norell. In it a character comes out from under a spell and it is described as they had a piece of opaque glass covering every aspect of his life and it was suddenly broken. Without exaggeration that is how I felt after eating that chicken, only opposite. Everything was slow and my thoughts were cloudy. I'm sure lack of sleep didn't help, but wow it was amazing what an effect it had. I would of been better off losing the kcals and being hungry until lunch.

Daisy is being a total spaz, so I have to take her on a run. Welcome to the new crew! Keep up the work everyone.

Day 48 - reflection and musings, also sarcasm

Where I last taught was an alternative school. For those that don't know, this is the school kids go to after they get expelled. Not that they're all bad kids (some are) but almost all of them say the same thing when confronted with something hard, like math. They say, "I just can't do this, I don't think this way, it isn't who I am."

The argument, which they cannot articulate because they've been socially promoted through 8 to 12 years of schooling, is that they are at some level genetically or culturally hardwired to be incapable of completing the task. The task can be sitting still, not throwing things, not dropping the f-word every three minutes, writing a five paragraph essay or anything else. It doesn't really matter. The point I'm making is there is a instant reaction that anything that requires effort is impossible, and then fear of failure prevents them from even trying. Learned helplessness is the buzzword most often used to describe these situations.

I'm uncomfortable with these explanations, as my sarcasm above should make clear. It sounds too much like determinism, like saying because someone is born poor, or hispanic, or black then they will never be able to comprehend a linear equation. Or because someone has a record they will always be a criminal, so why bother trying. It is just in their nature.

Pardon the language but I call bullshit. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe nature will out in the long run. For sure, maintaining the peak condition lifestyle has been a real struggle for me, but I have to believe in the ability for humans to change their behaviors. Otherwise what is the point? Of anything?

Day 45 - Halfway Point Movie

Woah, someone filmed my subconscious yelling at Patrick, who is oddly enough is played by an African-American woman:

And the remix:

Anyway, been working the PCP at about 80% capacity lately, which is weak because it's just the Condition Project. It is working, I'm getting in shape and feeling stronger. I managed to knock out 300 jumps without stopping - which is a new record. I don't know how Anshuman does 286,513,456 in a row every time. Sorry for being slack on the blog, but they expect me to work at work all of the sudden so my putzing online time is more restricted.

Okay, time for bed to get my solid seven before a morning workout.

Day 41 - Stress

Different people have different stress responses. A lot of people turn to food. I forget to eat. Two days in a row things have been silly enough at work that I've looked at the clock and said "crap it's noon".

Skipped the jump rope because I walk / jog /sprinted with Daisy for nearly three miles today.

Going to bed early to make up for staying up past midnight yesterday.

Made a decision at work today, things will get done when they get done. I have overworked myself to meet unreasonable deadlines since I got the job in January and set that as my co-worker's expectation. Now I need to stop rushing because that has reset the deadlines to where a rush job is a normal job. Not trying to whine, I'm lucky to have a job. I am just trying to be more assertive and mindful of what is important to me.

So, bed now.

Also, v-sits still suck. Bicycles too, but I think I am doing them wrong, my legs feel it way more than my abs.

Day 39 - Monday Morning Motivational Movie

This one is maybe a little personal:

Day 38 - Eggs

Look, I know they are little pockets of protein and I know all of this muscle work is just making me ropey and scrawnier with out them, but ten eggs a day? One-zero, TEN. That is a lot of eggs man. No matter how much mustard, wasabi or sriracha you dump on them. It's a lot of eggs. If someone were to ask me what the #1 challenge of the PCP was it wouldn't be floorjumps, it wouldn't be pistol squats, it wouldn't even be planks or bicycles - all of which I hate - it would be eating eggs all damn day.

New picture, reflecting my days of missing upper body workout and skipping too many eggs. I'm stronger based on the reps I can do now, but it isn't showing. And still not feeling that miracle energy boost yet. Maybe the caffeine restrictions Patrick just imposed will help with that. See also, getting enough sleep.

Okay, done venting, time to finish this chapter and hit the basement for today's workout. And by venting I mean bitching about minor stuff. I mean, my biggest problem is I have to eat eggs? Really? What is it about the blog format that takes minor things and blows them out of proportion? Sheesh. :)

Day 34 - Where I've Been

Meet Daisy:

She's three year old boxer that we adopted last weekend.

Boxers are what you call a "high energy breed". Which is good because it means walks (and occasional sprints) in the park. But I thought I'd let you know I've been slack on the blogging because the choice between keeping her from pooping in the house and writing a blog post ain't no choice at all.

Day 32 - Month 1 Wrap-Up

Bill W. says you can't get better until you hit rock bottom. Well, this weekend I fell off the wagon and fell hard. And, as you might guess, after dinner on Sunday I had a headache, felt like I was going to throw up and was slugish in my movement and thinking. I hit rock bottom.

ANYWAY, I'm not going to dwell on that. I've spent too much of this blog talking about ways I screwed up. Just know I'm on the straight and narrow now.

Instead I do want to highlight my accomplishments up until this weekend:

• no soda
• no beer
• no fast food
• no candy
• no ice cream
• 3 pickle spears total (I could kill a jar in a day)
• a dozen olives total (I eat these like popcorn)
• no hot dogs
• no pizza
• no chinese
• no microwave crap-food
• no spiced meats (love salami, pepperoni and summer sausage)
• no pork
• no potato chips
• no potato salad
• no cookies, cupcakes, cake or pie
• daily fruit
• daily vegetables
• daily carbs
• 2 to 3 large nalgenes of water / day
• daily exercise
• rarely overslept
• cooked most of my meals

I'm proud of that, and maybe my muscles aren't where they should be because I am sick of egg whites or neglected my abs. Whatever, moving forward is still moving forward.